My friend

I wish things would be simpler and the wind could erase all i lived preserving you intact. Looking back i remembered being the stubborn one, wasn't i so blinded? brainless even, senseless or hardheaded? Did you suffer, was i in your mind for long like you were in mine?

I can't change time or travel in it : to change answers, moments, walks toward home with the perfect company, verses, cards, my book, your feelings, mines, our stupid bad timing, your pride, mine, your goodbye, my mistake of letting you go for choosing someone that was never above you, you moving on, me trying, you succeeding, me disappearing and finally living in the same place but in different worlds.

All i can do right now is to be happy for both of us and wish to have you as my friend, is that too much to ask at this point? Would you let me in as your friend, expecting nothing but peace between us? i really hope so.

I know i have no right to ask you this, i know it isn't my place to, i know that i made my choice and i have to accept it, i know you probably don't even want to  but let me dream that you might.

Salomée

The "I don't Care" Dance

Circles, jumps, side to side movements, bow, claps, laughters and wild songs are the result of how i feel now;Wondering why i last so long on doing it: daring not to care so much about everything nor everyone. Here i stand motionless to the world but a hurricane of joy inside, freedom is knocking my door and i'm openning with a concert of hope and wearing a possitive gown.

I can't stop smiling, i love the fact that it has nothing to do with noone's effect in my life i'ts all a blessing from God: having amnesia penetrate my brain and simply sending me to the " i don't care" world. Now, please don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean i'm on my way of living reckless , on the contrary, it means that i refuse to let it affect me and lingered arround me for decades waiting on some miracle that it's actually my worse nightmare. This dance is for ME...... Only me, about me, for me and inspired by me.

Turning arround in circles has a dizzy effect and probably would seem to others that i'm not getting anywhere with this but after loving someone so intensely,hating to love him again,trying to forget his existance, separating my soul from him by seas; This has been my salvation, the only way to allow myself  free from the things  in my mind, things that only exists here,  this dance is what  i choose to involve myself in.

Here i am, not caring and then she interrupts my march:

-Not caring, uh?

I stop.

-Please, by all means, continue.

Now i'm real still.

-Is it working?

Yes, i said.

-Really working?

I guess it is, i replayed.

-Why not instead of a dance, you make it a walk?

Umm, good idea.. it didn't cross my mind before, i meditated.

-That's why i'm your mother Sal, because i know better.

True that, i smiled.

-So, did you think  about what you're going to do when IT appears in front of your face?

Silence.

-Do you have a clue what the consequences are?.

I think i will go back to dancing? i asked.

-Do you really think IT will fall for it and believe this little act of yours?

No, Mom.  I felt ashame to say.

-Listen, darling. The only way you will trully dance or walk under the NOT CARING umbrella is when IT is finally  out of your heart. IT ,needs to be out of your heart, please no more! Don't keep doing this to yourself, what i want  is to see in your eyes  is the reflexion of YOU and no more of  IT.

I understand what you mean. I said.

-Do you really?

I do, i've been working on it and i know i'm in the right track. I was honest to her, Because there's no way i can lie to my better half.

-I will dance with  you Sal, but i want this dance to be definitive. I want to see happiness scripted in your face instead of regret or wishing for SOMETHING that isn't worhty of the exceptional woman that you are. Tell me now which is going to be: regret or Trully dancing for the victory of sending IT to hell?

Mom.....From today on we DANCE and IT burns in Hell!

-That's my girl!

Salomée

Living

I love the morning breeze that tells me that i have a new day ahead with a blank page to write my smiles , erase negativity and learn form my mistakes.

I enjoy every second of the sunrise  because it reminds me that it purifies earth giving us a second chance. Letting us breath the wind of new opportunities and refocus our lives towards hope and achievement.

I Think of the millions of roses giving their scent, the thousands of trees renewing oxygen on our lands, the hundreds of seas bringing good news; Here is where i stand and say Love is more than enough to endure everything else.

I'm passioned about rain falling in my face , making me understand that there's a new world out there waiting to be discover: me.

I wish for wings, new glasses to let me foresee the future, a golden compass to show me the right way, a sword that help me conquered my fears, a cape to always keep me warm and a endless smile to remind me i'm human. But...How would i live if i want to protect the natural curse of life?

By letting it be , is when i already won the battle....
Keep dancing in the rain, you'll see how warm it really is.

Salomée 

The Vanishing act

Someone said: " Patience is a Virtue". Is that person dead or alive?
I seem not to learn this lesson. I seem to miss the point on waiting. I think i'm more confortable with " the magic wand" tecnique: you wish, you get! But then again, reality kicks in hard and reminds me that i have to attempt  cross over her dead body to achieve that.

Today has been amazingly surprising: i can look at what i want for as long as i want, i can even try to step close to it, i can attempt to touch it. The second i'm close enough to get , it has the ability to vanish, disapear or even evaporate from  in front of my eyes. Like , it's saying straight to my face: Dream on! or almost there but not on time! or it was never meant to be.

My life depending on the speed of a minature cell that could grant me the key to a different world, isn't this ironic? or maybe amazing? or probably unbelievable?
No, it's actually true.
I'm thinking now to ask for supernatural powers that could grant me the magical performance of a wizard, i'm thinking that my wanting desire is to play an expecific act: Vanishing.

I still hear a voice saying "Patience is a Virtue", can someone explain why? or simply make me understand, is there any way that it could be simpler, life i mean?

The answer is no.

Screw everthing else...I'm Happy!

This tale  begins with death.
As she walks to the light she trembles and acknowledges that this is the last path she would ever walk, i wonder what's on her mind. I wonder how she feels, was it worth it? is it worth it now?

Silence.

The road is cold now, noone is walking with her. Noone agrees to. Is she doomed?will she find peace where she's going?

I hope so.

She has encounter a wall, thick as brick but fragile as feathers, covered by big papers written down with her life, her story, a story everyone ignores but only she knows. Because in the end only you would trully love your soul and only a few would attempted to. Have that person passed by and she didn't realized it? Has she seen him? has he seen her?

Yes.

Still walking towards her destruction?would she be brave enought to stop and return? has she not notice that she can go back?

No.

Then , what she wants? Would she wait and see what the wind will bring her? Would she have time? Would she be forgiven?

Again, silence.

Every cell in her body is shoutting her inminent destiny. The things she've seen and kept only for the heart to sherish. What would be the reaction? would she acknowledge that what she's feeling isn't a dream? Is she aware that the hours are becoming days, the days are becoming months, months are years and the years have acumulate decades? does she knows this one day will stop and it won't be no more?

Yes, she does.

This tale continues with death.

As she tries to keep aiming to the light, her eyes  are closing and she's loosing sight. Now she understand that it's her last road and there's no turning back, there's no recovery from what lays ahead. I wonder , now, if fear is growing faster in  her veins? Is she surrendering? is she going to allow him to steal her life, what's left? How could she be so ignorant and let him take a piece of her life?

She's nodding now.

How can she turn this arround and make the best of it? Is she naive enough to think she can? Is there any hope of stopping and return from this deathly path?

I don't know.

Are we in control at all of our lives? do we get a saying on this? can we make the difference?

No, yes and yes.... But how is the real question!

Is happiness a goal, a moment, an illussion, a lucky guess that some have the opportunity to live?Does happiness could be an opportunity? Do we stand a chance?

Happiness is a state of mind that we choose and decide to fight for it everday... she answers.

Is she changing her mind about life?

...

When would she be able to write her story under her own terms? is this possible?

Nothing is subject to our pick... the only thing we were granted with is our WILL and we should use it to the best of our abilities and pray we get lucky.

Wondering where this came from?

Yes.

This tale is ending with....Hope?

Aparantly it's heading that way. She keeps walking, thinking that she can change  her mind about everthing and turn everything negative into productive and possitive. She's walking and suddenly she is moving her lips, scketching something  we rarely see her doing. Is she...actually.. smiling?

Yes i am.

I finally have decided that i don't need my past  here in my present, all i need is what i have.
Screw everthing else.....Im happy.

Salomeé

To you, the unknown.

What can i say?

I am waiting for you, sitting down and waiting for you: anxious, craving.

I've heard the elders saying that nothing compares to it, finding you when the time is right. No love on earth could complete a human being the way you can.

I have bought a little chair and decide to sit and wait for you.

I have cried, being depress and hopefull at the same time. Some will call this insanity and at a certain point it could be, but i have tried all and love all but you.

My hands feel empty and with no strengh, like still something is missing. Something doesn't fit right until you get here.

I promise i will love you and you will never feel unloved or lonely, i will be there by your side for as long as i live.

Please, let me hold you.

Let me give you all of  this inside my heart.

I'm reaching a point of no return where if you don't come i would feel all hope is lost.

It's a blessing that i would like to enjoy before i depart from earth: a little time with you.

Come, i want to call you mine as you  would call me yours.

 

Letter #2

Letter Two

To all,

I will no longer accept defeat or deception as a final answer.

“I will walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous,

 the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people

with their head in the clouds and their feet on the ground”.

I will surround my soul with the spirit of accomplishment and enterprising.

I won’t stop until I get there.

I will conquer my dreams and will flag them with my fingerprints until I make them happened.

I will live and enjoy the time granted.

I will not stop smiling but will avoid sadness, negativity and people with no goals in life.

I will breathe fresh air during and after the rain.

I will hold on to His promises and walk with no fear. (YES     I WILL      DEPEND    ON    GOD)

I will keep fighting until the end, until there’s no more self strength only FAITH.

Walking forward, living the present time and dreaming with the near future.