I'm taking the ship. I'm walking towards my inevitable end. So long future, not needed anymore past, i will not see you again present. It's done. No more hope for me. I'm doomed with a life of emptiness and quietness with nothing changing but my hair turning grey and my eyes loosing visibility. This is the end. The third sky went down to the ground and fall. I will never see it or meet it, today blood has covered my womb and it will keep coming in until i stop breathing. You ask me why i'm so bitter and heartless, why i stopped caring for others, why i have turned into this empty soul? This is the reason: because i'm unworthy.
This is it.This far is where i go. I can't not continue. A wall it's preventing me from walking. Am i going to allow it? will i not fight? where is my so called freedom? what happens with fierceless and independent? I'm still here but this wall i cannot control, i cannot overcome. It's presented before me to make me kneel and surrender. Sometimes, it's the only option. Sometimes, it's the only way to be free again. To learn from one's surrounds, to learn that it's not all up to me, to learn life it's hard for everyone, including me the warrior, the strong.
Today i kneel because i need to learn, i need to loose out all the extra weight, i need to be reborn, i need to forget my master plan and modify it to what life it's bringing to my plate. I can sense how the change it's been made, how tears had disappeared since they won't help at all, i can feel the skin growing thicker and more resistant I wasn't built for cat however , right now i can't be a lion. Today i'm wounded and need to pick up the pieces. Salomee didn't play fair, she throw me into the deep hole so i would come out from the ashes. This got more complicated than her previous adventures, she was in deep trouble and now none of us can figure it out.
How long will i remain like this? i hate not been able to control not to know what would be. Lions lead, they hunt, Lions open new paths, they're as free as the wind. I am a Lion but not today, i have to be a cat again. It's painful to witness this.I guess there's no option. I once was a cat and grew up to be a Lion. Being back at the beginning isn't bad.
Ivy♠!
