The "I don't Care" Dance

Circles, jumps, side to side movements, bow, claps, laughters and wild songs are the result of how i feel now;Wondering why i last so long on doing it: daring not to care so much about everything nor everyone. Here i stand motionless to the world but a hurricane of joy inside, freedom is knocking my door and i'm openning with a concert of hope and wearing a possitive gown.

I can't stop smiling, i love the fact that it has nothing to do with noone's effect in my life i'ts all a blessing from God: having amnesia penetrate my brain and simply sending me to the " i don't care" world. Now, please don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean i'm on my way of living reckless , on the contrary, it means that i refuse to let it affect me and lingered arround me for decades waiting on some miracle that it's actually my worse nightmare. This dance is for ME...... Only me, about me, for me and inspired by me.

Turning arround in circles has a dizzy effect and probably would seem to others that i'm not getting anywhere with this but after loving someone so intensely,hating to love him again,trying to forget his existance, separating my soul from him by seas; This has been my salvation, the only way to allow myself  free from the things  in my mind, things that only exists here,  this dance is what  i choose to involve myself in.

Here i am, not caring and then she interrupts my march:

-Not caring, uh?

I stop.

-Please, by all means, continue.

Now i'm real still.

-Is it working?

Yes, i said.

-Really working?

I guess it is, i replayed.

-Why not instead of a dance, you make it a walk?

Umm, good idea.. it didn't cross my mind before, i meditated.

-That's why i'm your mother Sal, because i know better.

True that, i smiled.

-So, did you think  about what you're going to do when IT appears in front of your face?

Silence.

-Do you have a clue what the consequences are?.

I think i will go back to dancing? i asked.

-Do you really think IT will fall for it and believe this little act of yours?

No, Mom.  I felt ashame to say.

-Listen, darling. The only way you will trully dance or walk under the NOT CARING umbrella is when IT is finally  out of your heart. IT ,needs to be out of your heart, please no more! Don't keep doing this to yourself, what i want  is to see in your eyes  is the reflexion of YOU and no more of  IT.

I understand what you mean. I said.

-Do you really?

I do, i've been working on it and i know i'm in the right track. I was honest to her, Because there's no way i can lie to my better half.

-I will dance with  you Sal, but i want this dance to be definitive. I want to see happiness scripted in your face instead of regret or wishing for SOMETHING that isn't worhty of the exceptional woman that you are. Tell me now which is going to be: regret or Trully dancing for the victory of sending IT to hell?

Mom.....From today on we DANCE and IT burns in Hell!

-That's my girl!

Salomée