My dull day after seeing him

I closed the door and my heart doesn´t find neither rest nor peace. This was supposed to be a quiet relaxing walk around the house. This visit to my parent’s homeland was to give me inner peace and prepare for my next mission visit to Africa, I always come here to recharge my batteries and prepare for the upcoming adventure. I don´t need all this trouble now but I too need a friend for sure. This doesn´t feel like a friendship birth, it feels like a very hard complication. I´ve been alone for so long that I can´t neither recognize nor differentiate one from another, love or friendship I mean, I have built my walls so high because I just don´t have the time anymore. Last time I went for love it was really hard so it´s safer to focus in others and help them in anyways I can, that´s the only type of love my heart could accept or deal at the time but now I feel it jumping eager to know  what I’ve been missing.

I decide to go a turn on the TV and prepare some breakfast, I enjoy cooking it relaxes me. I can´t stop thinking about Edward´s hand interlaced with mine. I closed my eyes and I think on how soft his hands feels touching my fingers and making my soul feel that the right palm it´s connecting to mine. I’ve never felt such softness and it doesn´t match the towns gossip about him not having a heart and that he just enjoy playing around. Those hands felt lonely , they felt empty but  I barely know the owner to have a final conclusion so I will see him again. While submerged in my thought the door slams hard and I know she´s home.

-Daydreaming?- Direct as usual.

-No, just… thinking. Do you want me to serve you omelet?- I ask her.

She stares at me and stays quiet. She gets closer and says it.

-Who did you find? Who?

It´s not news to me that she knows me  the same as I know her, two drops of water looking each other into the mirror. I can´t hide anything from her  but this time I will try.

-No one. The walk was short and peaceful. Do you want breakfast or not?- I look directly to her eyes to try to lie and apparently it worked.

- Ok. Please.

The conversation finishes there and we both go into our daily routine, the daily routine when I visit her. I like traveling but I always end up coming back home to her, after my father passed away she needs me more than ever. Ruth can be quiet sometimes but we both need to hear each other’s voice to know that everything is going to be alright with the world.

The afternoon comes in slowly and not fast enough, we have the usual visitors that like to drop a bomb or two about the latest town news. Of course this is how I hear about Edward and his family because no matter whatever happens in England; The Woods are the closure topic of the gossip.

-So enough about Maggie and her crazy husband, did you hear where the wedding would be?

   Her annoying tone of voice makes me roll my eyes.

-What wedding?- my mom says annoyed by Savannah´s question.

-The Wedding of the year, Edward Woods and Deborah Langley?

-Oh right, you obsession. Got it!- My mom says and I can´t suppressed my laugh.

-Ruth, I’m not obsessed I just like to keep you posted. I know after loosing Michael you lost interest in all the society stuff but I’m your friend and I will keep you inform of all the things until you get back to our club´s meeting.-Savannah finishes.

Of course she had to bring my dad´s passing to the table (that bitch). I´m angry now and not laughing anymore but my mom as polite as she is tries to brush it off.

-Thank you dear for your thoughtful initiative but none of those topics interest me anymore.

-I understand Ruth. - She says while drinking her cup of tea… oh them and their tea!!!

In moment like this I hug myself and my dad for loving me so that he wanted me to have a life outside of this bubble and appreciate other cultures so I would understand the shallowness in my own and I could try to be different.

There was a time when Ruth lived to the social events and participate in Charity along with my dad, they weren´t as well known as the Woods but they had their share of recognition. Then my dad had cancer and all the so called friends disappeared and the ones still remaining wanted to come visit and see if we were finally broke. I manage to maintain my dad´s business and with my constant work with non governmental entities we have maintain our status, and helped people in need through the fundation. but not because we care about none of recognition but to honor my dad´s memory, to feel we have him closer to our hearts.

This and some other reasons is that getting close to Edward feels like if  I´m going against nature, I have found myself in the work that I do and mixing with Edward would damage what I have achieve so far.

Savannah leaves promising to bring the ladies tomorrow for tea , I roll my eyes and wave  her goodbye as my mother closes the door.

-Why do you keep receiving that vulture in our house?-I demand her

-I know but she´s the one that comes here every day and even if I have to hear all that drama it helps me not to feel alone when you´re not here, it´s not easy being alone.-She smiles and make me feel guilty.

-Do you want me to stay here and stop working?- I´m shocked

-No, silly but I want you to understand my point too.-She answers.

-Ok, I understand.-I breathe

I go back to my room and lay on my bed thinking about what she said to me, It´s not easy being alone. I realized that I don´t want to end up alone either and that tomorrow morning I will see him again and for a brief moment I won´t be alone I will be with him.

Edith.

TO BE CONTINUED