Without shields

I stopped believing in myself  and the capacities i was granted with therefore everyone else did as well.
I stopped loving ``me`` first and caring for my wounds in order to move forward therefore i stood still without  escaping away from my past.
I stopped taking care of myself , the growth stopped therefore everyone else around me stopped growing.
I stopped living...
I stopped breathing...
I stopped having  faith and strenght in what i can do...
I stopped wanting more and i settle, damn why did i settle knowing that i deserved more.
This death stops today. This agony shall not be more. This , all of it it´s beneath me and i shall start looking at it with contempt.Because the life that i invisioned is the life i want to be living, there´s no room for weakness nor breakable feelings. I will no longer be two different women, i will no longer have two names. It´s all me and i will take me the way i am  and everyone else shall do the same or simply leave.
I don´t need i shield any more, this is me.Nice to meet you.

Salomee.

The future will build upon

Living the life i dreamed without what my soul needs, knowing that i will never be complete , knowing that there´s something missing, knowing i´m missing a piece, my better one. Living the life i invisioned in my mind without having my heart following, breathing distance and sadness hidden between (i´m ok laughters), walking under the sun with cold under my skin, whispering the unnamed.

Living the life that i don´t deserve without...Telling the story to myself  over and over so would finally believe the lies, the hole, the emptiness. My call, my decision, my results, my consequences.Knowing that letting go it´s my only choice now, knowing that there´s no turning back and that  i must keep walking...alone, without.

Living the life i chose, wanting to go back and change lots of things but here i stand unaffraid to say ``i´m sorry, i wish it was all  different`` but now moving forward is the only way for me according to you. I don´t feel brave anymore, i just feel soothed and calmed because i opened the door, i dared and i did it. I Loved completely without reserv and, i was loved at a certain time and now i can walk free knowing that.

Living, indicating that it´s time to write new stories and as the days pass the future will build upon.

Willing,

Ivy.

"Take A Bow"

I wanted to share and oldie that never gets old just because at some point it´s relevant in our lives and it´s appropiate. Enjoy lovers!
Ivy♠!

"Take A Bow"

Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down
There's no one here
(There's no one here, there's no one in the crowd)
Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there's no one around (no one around)
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
(One lonely star you don't know who you are)

[Chorus:]

I've always been in love with you (always with you)
I guess you've always known it's true (you know it's true)
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

Say good-bye (bye bye), say good-bye

Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you're breaking my heart (breaking my heart)
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
(Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown)
Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played (role that you played)
No more masquerade, you're one lonely star
(One lonely star and you don't know who you are)

[chorus, repeat]

Say good-bye (bye bye), say good-bye

All the world is a stage (world is a stage)
And everyone has their part (has their part)
But how was I to know which way the story'd go
How was I to know you'd break
(You'd break, you'd break, you'd break)
You'd break my heart

I've always been in love with you
(I've always been in love with you)
Guess you've always known
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

[chorus]

Say good-bye (bye bye), say good-bye
Say good-bye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDeiovnCv1o&list=PLE370C7DA3CC966EB

The women i know

They all have lived a dozen of  lifes and all of their stories are sketched in time marks on their faces.They all have loved fiercely and devotedly  a dark creature that totally ignores them. They have suffered but they have conquered hearts, built bridges, demolished great walls, risen agaisnt unfair ways, hard worked the land, help the  ones in need, attend with caring love the wounded. 

They have enocunter and lost love , managing to go on and bring a new breeze to their lives.They have won battles, lost others but mainatain their ground during war. They are ready  to be put to the test to proof their worth and how deep they can love. They can manage to do whatever comes to their plate and still look splendid. Because the women I  know don´t hesitate to open their arms to LOVE.

Are you one of them? 

Ivy ♠!

Venom

Because I have been bitten by an ancient cobra, that had left his scent in my blood and have marked my heart with his teeth, I walk numb in this world until he bites me again before I die. It is he the reason of my evil ways and python walk, it is he my damnation, it is he my medicine and no one else will own my soul. Because once loving like this, eternity without him is more like an immortal hell. This change of surrounding have only serve for me to crave for his sweet venom making my lips and throat dry as any African desert. It is him that owns me like this, it is him that carries the key and won´t share it with no one else. Because breathing without his flesh is useless, life has turned unbearable and empty. Here I stand, never changing and never forgetting about his existence. I truly want to bury him once and for all, but how can you kill true love when distance doesn´t help, when hating doesn´t stand a chance, when submerging in other arms don´t satisfy. This wounded Lioness will never heal, not until she´s bitten again, not until you fully own her, not until you choose her once and for all.

Waiting.

Ivy ♠!

Sweet Torture

I will talk about it with you only. After requesting time and space away from you i finally got my wish. I was heading south and i finally arrived to an unknown new world away from my past and with the chance of building a future. The comforting part is that I’m taking that chance and the sad part is that I find myself missing your sweet torture, like if I enjoy it. Like if e I njoy living with it.

How difficult this is now that thousands of kilometers separate your eyes from mines. Here I stand meditating that it was the healthier thing to do, to take an eagle and fly south. Is winter in the vibrant city, winter until September but it will remain winter until I see you again. My flesh aches for your hands, you mouth and your eyes. Only touched in silence, in secret corners, in mute looks, in the hall, in benches, in our minds we already gave in to each other. Did you felt it? The electricity when we looked our way. Have you imaging it? Your hands all other new lands drinking fresh waters and filling yourself with my desire. Do you want it? To own all the spaces in me. I want your marks; I have a special place saved only for you.  I suspect you want me too and is taking all your will power , is taking me being south and you being there to contain the cosmic twister our merger could cause to this planet. When it finally all would make sense.

There’re questions I have for you love:  Why we’ve waited? What are we waiting?  I guess these won’t be answered any time soon. The sweet torture is all I have, are you missing me Gerome?

Ivy ♠!

The Black Widow's Lair: The way I am.

The Black Widow's Lair: The way I am.: No I am not an easy person. No you won't always understand me. No I won't always agree with you. Yes I have a temper. Yes I put up ...