HEAT

Married life doesn´t feel different to me.

Deborah focused on every detail of the wedding and I just had to show up and say ¨I DO¨ even if every neuron in my body yelled ¨I don´t¨.  We decided to stay in my father´s house since Senior moved back to the city and wanted to leave us the place too biblically   ¨ Be Fruitful and multiply ¨ because he wants a grandson soon but I will avoid sleeping with her for as long as I can. I already doomed Edith to this life, the least I could do I not sleep with my wife and procreate any time soon.  She´s been very different since I married. I barely get to see her after our episode with Senior. He found out and went to her house and threatens her and her mom. They didn´t take it but I know it did affect her because things don´t seem the same but let me have  hope in this black story and think that we shall overcome this and be happy in the end.

-          -God, how much I want you- I swiped her off the floor and hug her like if my life depends on it, it actually does.

-         - Put me down Edward. - She is upset and demanding now.

-          -What´s wrong Edith?- I´m worried.

-          -I … I need to leave. I´m leaving today and I don´t want you here right now.- She said it but my ears couldn’t believe it.

-          -What are you talking about that you´re leaving?- I´m shouting now.

-         - Edward, YOU ARE MARRIED!! What do you expect me to do? You expect me to live like this for the rest of my life? – She was shouting too.

-        -  No… but I thought you understood. I never lied to you, you knew this since day one and now you´re telling me that you can´t handle it?

-          -Yes, that´s exactly it. I can´t handle it now, leave my house I don´t want to ever see you again.- She said those words crying like there was a greater pain I wasn´t  aware of.

-        -  I´m not leaving Edith.

-      -Yes you are, I already accepted the money Senior offered my family and agreed to never see you again.- She killed me

-          -You what? You´re lying, please tell me you´re lying!!!!!

-       -  I´m richer now and you´re married this is as close as we get of a happy ending.- She finished me.

I walked out of the guest house with a hole in my chest. Feeling like a knife went through and through my heart. She was like the rest, Senior got to her with money. Wait, she has money. Senior couldn´t buy her like that something else is going on. By the time I turned my face to go back to her I saw her putting all her things in the car and leaving. Just like a terrifying thunder in a stormy afternoon, Edith Willes walked out my life, without looking back or hesitating. Life was finished for me, I just can´t see myself without her. My thoughts were interrupted by my conscience:

-         - You need to let her go Edward.-The quiet voice whispered as if my pain was understood.

-          -No, I can´t ...-I started feeling the not in my throat.

-          -I told you Senior wouldn´t let you have it both ways…It had to be done.- The voice cracked at the end of the phrase.

-        -  You always say that after the ¨Clean up¨ but she was different and you know it. I won´t give up on her like I did with the others.

-         - I know  you won´t but you won´t have a choice. It´s done, she´s gone.

-         - She didn´t take money? What you did to make her flee away- I demanded.

-         - I didn´t do anything but I was present when Senior was holding her mom´s neck between his hands. He told her that he would take everything from her and not all the money in the world would help her recovery it. She looked at her mom and ask him politely to let her go so that they would settle everything. The mom left the room crying and looking at Senior in disbelieve, like he betrayed her. Once sitting down  she agreed to leave.- She´s a brave Woman Edward but she couldn´t win this.

-     -          Find her.- I was looking straight into the eyes of my conscience.

-         -Ok.

That day my life turned into gray shades of numbness and my soul couldn´t rest not until my conscience would find Edith, not until I could find my heart again.

Edward.

TO BE CONTINUE